The circle of self-control is vicious. For example, you escape negative feelings by avoidance. But when you face the situation, you feel anxious. If you don’t like socializing and you need to socialize you feel anxious about it. Avoiding socializing is not the solution to the problem. It only adds to the problem.

Similarly avoiding negative or sad emotions is not the solution. When you are in grief, sad emotions are but natural. Controlling your emotions is not the solution but you should accept the situation as it is. You will try to suppress negative feelings, but they will reappear sooner or later.